“Men, in their 40’s are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle; tricky, complicated and you’re never really sure you’ve got the right answer.” –Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City
Have truer words ever been spoken? Born and bred here in Boston’s North End, I guess this makes –for me– Boston men the Sunday Globe puzzle!
So, I want to preface this column by saying I am a straight shooter and I tell it like I see it. Kind of look at me as our city’s version of Carrie, only with that Italian zest!
Basically, here is what she is saying: Guys ages 40 and up STOP only going for women in their 20’s and be more open minded to women your age, who have actually hit their prime!
Listen BostonMan, I understand it is summer in the city and it is very difficult to ignore the gorgeous 25-year-old girl on the beach in a bikini with a rock hard body, or the 28-year-old walking down Newbury St. wearing a crop top and stilettos.
Lets face it, today celebrities such as J Lo, Sarah Jessica Parker (Hi Carrie!), Tyra Banks, and Sofia Vergara look even better than many 20 something year olds do in a bikini or a crop top.
Personally, I feel like I look the best I have ever looked in my life at age 42. I like to joke with my girlfriends who are also in their 40s and say that God gives us one last decade to really look amazing because then it goes downhill (totally joking). Honestly, I do not believe that one bit. I think women are rocking their 40s and are hotter than ever because they radiate confidence.
They have realized what works best for them in regard to style, hair color, and how to highlight their best body features.
Alright, here are SIX KEY POINTS for the BostonMan to consider with regards to dating women in your age group (this is worth the read!):
1) Women in their 40s “want” a relationship vs. “need” a relationship. They are over the “fairytale” expectation in their minds, which makes them more of an equal partner vs. clingy or needy.
2) Women in their 40s know what it is like to have loved and lost. They have relationship expectations so they will not waste your time or theirs, as they have no patience for mind games. Therefore, you won’t be on a dramatic hamster wheel.
3) Women in their 40s will not pressure you for marriage and children according to any “two year plan” they may have in their minds. You won’t feel like your back is up against a wall or you have to pull the trigger and head to Tiffany & Co. for a round solitaire. Many of them have either “been there and done that”, or thought to themselves “Nah, that is not for me. I think I am ok with having a companion instead of a husband.”
4) Women in their 40s are usually ambitious and driven in their careers. Having goals and being a “boss babe” is a turn on for most men. You’ll never have to question if they want you for you, or just your wallet, Amex card, or invitation to the next BostonMan Legacy Club event.
5) Women in their 40s are at a similar stage in life as you are, which means you will share more life experiences with one another. This will lead to many happy and enjoyable days.
6) Finally, research states that women in their 40s are in their sexual prime. (Nothing further needs to be said on that!)
So in conclusion BostonMan, please stop with the “cougar” stigma and instead embrace the mindset of “age ain’t nothing but a number.” Look at the total package vs. the birth year. Just be prepared to be pleasantly surprised when your dating life takes a drastic turn for the better!