Say Gerv? I want to get married, but this girl I met on Hinge doesn’t. Do you think I can convince her? Or is this a losing battle?
-Jonathan from Brookline
Jonathan, in my long and illustrious career of dating I’ve figured out a lot of things when it comes to women. The biggest thing is us men will never understand them. I was in your situation years ago.
I dated a woman who didn’t want to get married. I told myself that in time she would change her mind. She didn’t. I told myself that if I proposed to her, she would want to get married. She didn’t. I told myself if she got pregnant, she would want to get married. She didn’t.
Do you see where I’m going with this Jonathan? If you like going to the movies and your girlfriend doesn’t, that’s an easy one to fix.
If you want to get married and she doesn’t, that’s not so easy. That’s a BIG issue Jonathan! A big issue you probably won’t be able to work out. When you’re dating a woman there are certain things that you just need to have in common to continue moving the relationship forward. Marriage would be one of them.
Now is it possible she might come around to the idea of marriage? Well, yes that’s possible, but so is me making it onto season 50 of Survivor, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Also Jonathan, if marriage is your goal, maybe try the new Lola Dating app in Boston or give our girl Jill Vandor over at Lunch Dates Executive Matchmaking a call. Keep the Hinging strictly for ‘play time’ -if you know what I mean.
Say Gerv? I’ve been invited to five weddings this year, but I can’t afford to give money to all of them. Should I still go?
-Melanie from Southie
Big Mel, of course you should go. Your friends want you to help them celebrate the biggest moment in their lives and you’re thinking about not showing up because you’re broke?
Do you always give a birthday present to every birthday party you go to? No, you just show up, eat the food, drink the liquor and leave.
Come on Melanie, I don’t believe that people invite you to their weddings to recoup their money. Well, most people anyway.
They invite you because they want you there, to be a part of their joyous occasion. You just give what you can afford and enjoy the day.
If I ever get married and the reason my friends didn’t show up to my wedding was because of money I would be really upset. That’s something I plan on doing once and I’m not doing it for a check. I’m doing it because I love the future Mrs. Peterson and I want her to be my wife.
And I want my friends and family to celebrate the most important day of my life with me.
Say Gerv? Me and my wife are on a temporary break. Now she’s talking to a new guy and she has my son around him all the time. How can I get her to stop?
-Chris from Melrose
Chris, is this a break or a break-up? Either way, I know it’s tough. When children are involved, they’re tougher. When another dude is in the picture it’s the toughest.
I’m going to give it to you straight with no chaser Chris. Your ex-wife (I’ll call it what it is) can have anyone she wants around your son. If she’s not putting him in a bad situation or doing anything to harm him then there’s really nothing you can do.
Look, I get it. As a guy the idea of another man around your kids will get your blood boiling. But it sounds like you’re not together anymore so now it’s time to channel all that anger and energy in a positive way.
You heard of keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Well, it’s time to find some common ground with your ex. The friendlier you are with her the more you’ll know what’s going on in your son’s life when you’re not around.
If you’re not going to be with her then you want to be her best friend. It’ll help you to have more input in your son’s life too. Instead of hating her new man, why don’t you get to know him better?
He’ll be around your son just as much or more than you. Don’t you want to make sure he’s a good influence in your son’s life? Be there for your ex, support her and you’ll see how much nicer and headache free your relationship will be.
Remember you’re doing all of this for your son. Even though mommy and daddy aren’t together, seeing you both being nice to each other will only help your son in dealing with the situation.
And that’s what this is all about. Your son and his happiness. Don’t lose sight of that Chris.
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Gervase Peterson has made history as the first African-American male in the #1 all-time reality series Survivor. Hollywood is no stranger to Gervase as well after appearing and co-hosting with several national television programs.
