Say Gerv? Do you think I need to get a flu shot or is it a waste of time?
Matt, first we need a basic understanding of how the flu vaccine works, and, since I am not a doctor, this will be very, very basic. The flu vaccine is designed to protect you against the most common strains of the flu for that particular year. So, when you get the flu shot, your body starts producing antibodies that will destroy the virus if you are exposed. See, it’s pretty simple. The problem is that the viruses change, or that the flu vaccine protects against viruses that are targeted to be the most common that year, and the virus you get may not be the one for which you were vaccinated. This is one of the reasons why the flu shot appears to be ineffective. Oh, and did I mention that vaccines are manufactured one year in advance? Now, there are things you can do to avoid getting the flu. Keep your immune system operating at its peak performance. You know, take your vitamins, drink milk, say your prayers (well, Hulk Hogan always said that, and look at him), make sure you get enough rest (6-8 hours does the body wonders), vampire sneeze (when you sneeze or cough, you do it in the inside of your elbow and you look like a vampire—haha, that always makes me laugh), wash your hands with soap and water for 30 seconds or more. Now, that being said, I’m getting my flu shot tomorrow. You know, just in case.
Say Gerv? I’m 40 years old and married with children. My wife wants me to get a vasectomy, but what if it doesn’t work out and my next wife wants kids? What should I do?
Look Mark, I know that people are having children at older ages more than ever before, but let’s think about this for a minute. Say you get divorced at 45 years old, marry your second wife at 50 years old, and have another baby by the time you’re 52 years old. Now picture little Paulie on a class trip when he’s 10 years old, which makes your 62 years old, and you’re a chaperone with the other younger parents in their 30’s. All the kids are talking, and little Johnnie (it’s always little Johnnie that causes the trouble) says, “Cool Paulie, you brought your grandpa to chaperone,” and little Paulie starts crying and says, “No! That’s my dad!” Do you see the trauma you’ll put little Paulie through? If your “next” wife wants kids, that probably means she’s a lot younger than your old ass, and, while you would be applauded for your skills to pull a younger woman, that doesn’t mean you need to procreate with her. Furthermore, what if the second marriage doesn’t work out? That’s another child support and alimony payment homie! I typed that in bold and underlined it for a reason. That reason is you will be broke! Do you really want to go back to living with your mom and dad? Mark, just get neutered, keep your wife happy and call it a day.
Say Gerv? Is it proper etiquette to bring your own steak sauce to a restaurant?
That’s a violation Tony! Let me ask you this: do you make your own sauce? Do you bring your own silverware too? Seriously man, you need to be slapped. There are certain things you don’t do in life. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don’t mess around with Jim (did you see what I just did there?). First what restaurant are you going to? Is it a Long Horn Steakhouse or a Ruth Chris Steakhouse? If it’s a chain restaurant they probably carry the sauce you like. If not, too bad. If it’s a five-star restaurant, your steak won’t need any sauce. If your steak is seasoned properly, that’s all you’ll need to enhance its flavor. That’s an insult to the chef, and you know what happens when you insult the chef don’t you? You get some sauce alright-that saliva sauce….ok that just made me sick.
Say Gerv? I have 2 kids, a 5-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl, and they take baths together. At what age should they stop?
Paul, I used to take baths with my sister when we were younger. Lots of bubble baths and toys. I would make bubble beards and afros. We had so much fun! But once I started playing with my pee-pee and asking my parents where my sisters’ pee-pee was, that’s when our joint bathing sessions ended. I get it, you want to kill a few birds with one stone. Bathing them together saves time, water and energy. I can tell you that with my kids, first grade was the cut off for me. Once kids start going to school, they start learning things that they weren’t taught at home. In other words, they start learning from the “streets”. You know the street version is always dirtier and more perverted than the clean, censored version you teach at home. It’s always the kids with older brothers and sisters that seem to know more and love telling it to everybody. So, do you really want little Jimmie to find out about his sister’s pee-pee from little Johnnie at school? I didn’t think so.
Gervase Peterson has made history as the first African-American male in the #1 all time reality series, “Survivor.” Hollywood is no stranger to Gervase after appearing and co-hosting several national television programs.