Say Gerv? What are the rules for bathroom etiquette?

-Rick, Dorchester, MA

Rick, these rules should be taught to men at an early age, but honestly I think they are just understood. The fact that we are having this discussion is troublesome, but let’s have it just to make sure we’re clear. Here are few simple rules to remember. Always wash your hands for 20 seconds which so many guys still don’t do in this pandemic. That’s just nasty. Always clean up after yourself. Again this should be understood, but many neglect to do it. When you’re going to use the urinal you don’t use one next to someone who is already handling their business. You keep an open urinal between you and the man next to you. If that’s the only open one then you wait for someone to finish. No eye contact allowed. Keep your eyes forward or down at the urinal. No peeking allowed. And lastly no talking necessary. You don’t need to shoot the breeze to kill time. There is nothing so important to talk about that can’t wait until you’re finished. I remember one time me and my buddy Joel from Survivor were at a party and we had to use the bathroom. I’m doing a number one and Joel’s doing a number two. This guy walks right up to me at the urinal and asks for an autograph. I tell the guy my hands are full, but Joel is in the stall and he will gladly sign it. The guy then proceeds to go to the stall, knocks on the door and slides a piece of paper and pen underneath and asks Joel for an autograph. Joel told the guy no problem. He took the paper wiped his ass with it and slid it back to him. And in that moment he learned all about bathroom etiquette.

Say Gerv? My wife got a job working for my ex-wife. Am I an ass because I want her to quit?

-Sal, North End, MA
Sal, I have to admit that this is an awkward situation. My first reaction was oh hell yea she has to quit. Then I took a step back and thought about it. This seems like it’s more of a problem for you more than your wife? If your wife is ok working with your ex, which she must be since she took the job, then I don’t see a problem with it. I can see your many concerns like what if your ex-wife bad mouths you, what if she holds your wife back from moving up and growing with the company or what if they become friends. These are all valid concerns, but I think you have to give it a chance and see how things play out. I’m sure your wife is one smart cookie and she’ll be able to tell if your ex is doing some shady stuff. Jobs are hard to come by and jobs you love are even tougher so if your wife has found one that’s a good thing. Hey Sal, if your wife is happy and the ex is happy maybe it’s time for you to let that stuff go and be happy yourself.

Say Gerv? How do I explain all the crazy things going on in the world to my kids without traumatizing them?

-Ryan, Winthrop , MA
Ryan, you don’t have to explain everything to your kids and they don’t need to know everything that’s going on. If they hear something that troubles them sit them down and discuss it with them. You don’t have to give them all the gory details, but you can give them enough information so that they know what’s going on and that they feel safe. There are bad people in the world, but there are way more good people. Kids are smart and they’re going to hear things in school, from friends or from family. We want them to stay innocent for as long as possible. We want to protect them from ever being hurt, but that’s not realistic or healthy. Lying to them and giving them wrong information just to spare their feelings will only hurt them in the long run. Honesty is always the best policy. And you need to be even more diligent now a days because in the technological age kids have access to information 24/7 right at their fingertips. That’s why it’s even more important to keep those lines of communication open. As long as your kids know that dad loves them and he will always be there to protect them, they will be just fine. That’s why dads are the greatest parents, just don’t tell mom I said that.
Gervase Peterson has made history as the first African-American male in the #1 all-time reality series Survivor. Hollywood is no stranger to Gervase as well after appearing and co-hosting with several national television programs.